What’s the point?
Welcome to the airport lounge.
Take several seats. Pour yourself a drink.
What’s the point of points? Of buying and collecting them, in order to ultimately get a plane ticket in a complicated way that takes time, and that still costs actual money, when you can just buy a plane ticket with actual money and be done with it in about 15 minutes?
I don't have a philosophy degree and right now I'm not going to give this question the universal Meaning-of-Life answer it deserves. I'm going to give to it the simple answer I wish to give, as someone who goes to lots of places. If I cut to the bottom line now, I'll save you some scrolling:
It’s BETTER than Economy and CHEAPER than paying cash! As someone who travels a lot, I find it's worth taking the time to be knowledgable. If you travel less than me, it’s even more important that you don’t make SAD CHOICES on the few occasions you drag yourself to the other side of the planet. Collecting airline points gives me more and better options than just being at the whim of cash prices quoted on Google Flights, because I normally can’t afford long-haul Business class prices and I don’t want to squeeze my endless long limbs into an Economy seat for 12+ hours. Using points, I frequently have the option to take the best Business class for sometimes the cash price of Economy, and two years before I started LONG–HALL I knew nothing about any of it. Dassit.
If you're new to airline points then you'll learn things. I crammed information over years, and went from zero to a round-the-world Business class ticket, without having the cash this would otherwise demand. It was a complicated process; I intend to make it less so for you. If you’re already sitting on points then you can skip the how-tos and I will inspire you to use them for enjoyment rather than ticking off lists. When you embrace the absurdity of this spinning planet, you’ll want to keep on visiting it.
Never forget, everything about travel should be enjoyed. If you fly Scoot from one side of the planet to the other, like I did, it’s not fun. I paid over £800 one-way, and didn’t even get tap water. If you trawl every jargon-heavy aviation blog on the Internet like you yourself are a bot, just to become an expert in avoiding Scoot, it might not be your idea of fun. If you spend ages copying and pasting new phraseology, in a desperate attempt to ask AI the right questions to know how to do what I do… you’ve guessed it; not fun. And eventually, if you make it to Bali, essentially to get the same sunset-drenched, be-coconut-ted photo as every other influencer, you’ll realise the beaches are swarming with infestations of influencers, and the whole tedious process of getting there has led to a situation that’s NOT FUN EITHER!
So instead, let me fill your mind with evocative words and images that can focus your travels on enjoyment, and broaden your horizons without similarly widening your budget, and you can learn things in even less time than it took me, without it being as dull as it would otherwise be. Stay on this page if you want a simple example to illustrate the summary above, and subscribe if you want to go all the way to better travels, without losing your mind or budget.
Kyoto
What can you get out of this website?
You possibly fit one of these three descriptions:
1. You travel sometimes, and don't want to travel any further or more frequently, but you just got the idea that other people are taking Business class flights "for free" and you got FOMO.
My response: I will happily take up your time; keep reading!
2. You travel often and at best it's tolerable to get to your destination, at worst you contemplated opening the emergency exit and being sucked into the abyss, and you are prepared to learn how to improve this situation for yourself.
My response: Snap! I did the same and you're in the right place. If this makes you feel unoriginal, shattering the illusion that you're special, then stop holding on to precious beliefs.
3. Maybe you're already a points expert and an aviation fanatic and you know what IATA codes are.
My response is, of course: Keep reading! As is clearly written multiple times, I have an absurdist outlook on moving your body around the planet, and as such I think it’s more valuable to read about the economics of points when balanced with an emphasis on enjoying the process from start to destination. You really only have two choices: do you want to be Sisyphus pushing a rock up a mountain, or Sisyphus enjoying pushing a rock up a mountain? The answer is the second one; stop thinking and keep reading.
Penang
Now for the example of how you can pay Economy money for Business travel. I want you to consider which of these scenarios you think is best.
Don't worry if you're not a British idiot like me and your currency is different; the dilemma is not relative to any region of the world:
You pay £600 to fly 12 hours, say from Europe to Asia, in Economy class
You pay £800 to do it in Business class, sleeping on a bed if it’s overnight
You pay £4,000 for exactly the same as above
You pay £3,995 to do it in “Premium Economy”, whatever that means…
If you haven't embraced the absurdity of all these numbers and words yet, let yourself fall into my arms. Trust I will catch you. I may seem like just another guru, but at least I don't insist on an initiation ritual that involves shooting fireworks out of your anus or sacrificing your first born.
I'm going to say that from my point of view, I prefer the second option; flying long-haul in Business class for a little more than the cost of Economy and getting a lot more enjoyment than if I were in Economy. This happens when the following things fall into place:
1. You acquire an adequate account balance of airline points with the right loyalty programme, totalling somewhere in the price range between free, and less than the best possible cash fare quoted on a search engine to get to the destination in Business class.
OK your eyes are crossed and your tiny little brain has been microwaved already. I will explain all of this to you, so don’t try and understand it yet. If you pay more for the points than an available cash fare, then the whole thing becomes paradoxically pointless, unless you get a thrill from being lost in numbers the same way people enjoy ASMR. Understanding the value of points may not just come easily, and mistakes can be made, but you can't be afraid of risk if you want to propel yourself around the planet in a metal tube.
2. The airline offers what are called "Reward Seats" and there is availability on a plane you wish to board.
No seat available and you're not going anywhere. The cost in the effort of a treasure hunt to find Reward seats is part of the price, because if it were easy then everyone would do it. But you’re not everyone. Alternatively, you can play the airline Status game, marry the daughter of the CEO, or just get rich, but this is advice I'm not giving right now.
3. The amount of points charged by the airline, plus any fees and taxes added on, satisfies (1) above.
If not, don't buy the ticket. A Rewards seat costing several million points, plus some random amount of £829 in fees, is as preposterous as it seems. Airlines do it all the time because there are a few people out there who effortlessly acquire huge sums of points through their business, and have no requirement to get value for money because they’re loaded, and airlines love these people. I’m looking at you, Qantas.
4. The quoted price and seat availability is real, and you're not being swindled.
It actually happens a non-zero number of times, in my experience, that airlines advertise availability that actually doesn't exist, and the website will simply display an error message if you try to book the seat. This is outrageous, and the airline CEOs should have their testicles/tits tickled with an ostrich feather for a torturous amount of time for it. They'd probably like it though, the perverts. But nevertheless, the vast majority of advertised availability is real and fair.
5. The Business class travel you're buying is actually promising a decent seat, edible food, and enjoyable service. This is not to be taken for granted.
Economy class on Singapore Airlines might offer better value than Business class on another carrier.
In this whole example above, a typical scenario, I'm calling it £800 or under to acquire enough points (and pay taxes) with an airline for a long-haul Business class flight to somewhere you want to visit. We can pretend there is a cash fare available on a different airline for something like £1,000, and that this airline offering a seat in exchange for points would otherwise charge you £4,000 if you paid for the same seat in just cash. Maybe this airline offers a better experience than that available for £1,000, or maybe the more expensive airline is just a thieving scumbag. Either way, £800 is cheaper than £1,000, and it’s the most expensive outcome anyway; with extra effort you could acquire the same points for £400 and then, even when taxes are added, you’re really taking Business for the price of Economy.
The airlines do not have the prerogative to save you money, make things simple, or be consistent and predictable. Credit lenders, who often offer so many bonus points for their services, do not have a charity status. Points can be devalued or expired. It all sounds awful, doesn't it!
Well, I just recently flew from Europe to Singapore in Singapore Airlines Business class, and it was the best flight I’ve ever had for cheaper than I once paid in Economy. Since Singapore Airlines owns Scoot, the balance has been marginally redressed. You too can do the same if you have at least the budget for long-haul Economy. So recite after me:
"I am willingly entering this cult because the Divine Leader, going by the name of LONG–HALL because he’s James HALL and his limbs are LONG, promises (with no guarantee) to make my life better. YAY!”
Well done, I'm proud of you already. Now how the hell do you acquire airline points if you’re not a fat old CEO with a briefcase, flying every week to bore another roomful of people with your latest pie chart? Let’s see…